


Always and forever

by E67



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: After death, Brotherly Bonding, Eventual Romance, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Purgatory, Slight comedy relief
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-15 18:26:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 14
Words: 7,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29193783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/E67/pseuds/E67
Summary: Bertholdt confessed but annie wants him to focus, idk if you would really call this a story, but I hope it's not to bad
Relationships: Bertolt Hoover/Annie Leonhart, Reiner Braun & Bertolt Hoover
Kudos: 7





	1. Saved it to long

**Author's Note:**

> Just a random guy with a short bertholdt x annie story I felt like do something for bertholdt  
> I'm no where near a writer this is just for me to cope  
> bert was always crushing on annie even before they got to the island right? I'm thinking  
> 

Sometime after training bertholdt spots an unconcerned annie in her solitude, as unconcerned as she is he cant help but to be more concerned for her, he works up some courage he has and walks up to her trying not to think to much 

Bertholdt: a-annie

Annie: bertholdt, what is it?

Bertholdt: umm..when this is over, when we have time...to really talk I mean

Annie: really talk? Like a conversation? 

Bertholdt: I-i wanted to ask..

Annie: no, save it

Bertholdt:huh?

Annie: save it,

Bertholdt: save it?

Annie: save your questions and I'll save my answer for later, if I answer right now it will hold you back. If I know you well it will just get in the way of the mission you will think to much on it

Bertholdt: you know me well?

Annie: you think to much,you lose focus,if you do you die,the mission will fail,I can't go home 

Bertholdt: a- annie 

Annie: hm?

Bertholdt: thank you

Annie: for?

Bertholdt: for....being here

Annie: well reiner having issues we çant let that stop the mission,we still have to meet for planning

Bertholdt: (that's not what I meant)

Annie: what are you thinking?

Bertholdt: ..o. n-nothing

Annie: you were thinking of nothing? Hmm makes sense

Bertholdt: haha. well

Bertholdt: a-annie I still....

Annie: is it important? I said save it

Bertholdt: it is...to me

Annie: hmm ok what?

Bertholdt: y-you are..to me 

Annie: ?try again,what's so important that you can't wait? 

Bertholdt: y-you mean w-who's so important

Annie: ?

Bertholdt: you are

Annie: bertholdt

Bertholdt: I'm trying, annie you are so important that I can't wait 

Annie: ..why?

Bertholdt: I,don't know why or how exactly but I know everytime I look or think about you,you become important to me

Bertholdt: i-i like you a-annie

Annie: ...I know

Bertholdt: y-you know?

Annie: I know

Annie: but for how long I'm not sure

Bertholdt: s-since we first started working here on the island

Annie: 3years?

Bertholdt: yes

Annie: now I remember,I suggested to offer myself to a noble

Bertholdt: you did

Annie: hmm you never really spoke against any plans we had before then

Bertholdt: I didn't

Annie: and I changed my mind,I didn't think I had any charm

Bertholdt: it was enough to a,attract me.. e-even now

Annie: I told you to save it

Bertholdt: I'm sorry

Annie: just focus, if you do that this will be quick and smooth, I've seen you focused before..your almost like another person

Annie: if you find yourself in a situation don't talk or try to reason, although they might not be devil's,these people will never understand 

Bertholdt: hmm

Bertholdt: I'll try

Annie: try?

Annie: warriors don't try

Bertholdt: right... If I know you're safe I will focus

Annie: o? Well then you'll get my answer soon

Bertholdt: b-but I didn't ask anything.

Annie: I think I have an idea of what you would ask

Bertholdt: o, you know me well right?

Annie: well enough,and if you tell reiner anything I'll make sure you know what pain feels like

Bertholdt: i-if he brings it up I'll plainly say it's not like that

Annie: good

Annie: I'm going to the mp tomorrow

Bertholdt: I'll be with reiner in the scouts

Annie: good as his friend you should be able to snap him to reality

Bertholdt: as his other friend you should be able to as well..?

Annie: I would kill him

Bertholdt:

Annie: if you have updates send letters to set a meeting

Bertholdt: a-annie .....be careful 

Suddenly bertholdt hugs annie as nervous as he is he wants to to be able to compose himself, if only for annie's sake, a hug is all he can think of right now.

She isn't flustered by it, it is just so sudden she doesn't know how to react. He quickly regains some sense and breaks away

Annie:

Bertholdt: annie I'm sorry I didn't mean...

Annie: bertholdt,if you die you'll never get your answer..so don't die

Bertholdt:

Annie: we should go before it gets late

Annie: you might have a to wait a little,we shouldn't be seen together

Bertholdt: (for you I'll wait forever)

Annie: bertholdt! Did you hear me? I'll signal you to leave

Bertholdt: y-yes sorry

Annie: you apologize to much, in this world kindness is a fault

Bertholdt: yeah,sorry

Annie: bertholdt

Bertholdt: o, umm,

Annie:(why is he like this, I've seen for myself he can be reliable, does he choose not be?)

Bertholdt: h-hey annie?

Annie: what?

Bertholdt: I-I want you to know y-your not alone

Annie: yeah you and reiner are apparently here with me

Bertholdt: more than that,you have us to lean on, you have me..and reiner 

Bertholdt as quiet as he can, almost inaudible whispers three words under his breath but annie is so sharp she can catch a fly

Annie: what did you say?

Bertholdt: n-nothing sorry,I'll wait for your signal

annie walks away thinking of his words, she can't place them at the moment but she thinks she's heard him mention those words before

Annie: (always and forever huh)


	2. I told you not to die

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Annie can't talk but she can hear so she's thinking which is why her words are in (..) quotations?

Annie seemingly sleeps in her crystal all she can do is think, because thinking is the only time she has now

Annie: (I can't see but I have my senses, i can't touch but I can feel,I cant talk but I can hear,I should be sleep but I'm awake,somehow)

Armin: hello annie

Annie: (that sounds like armin?)

Armin: h-how are you?

Annie: (how..am I?)

Armin: things are getting complicated 

Annie: (complicated?)

Armin: eren is getting complicated

Armin: I don't know if he's losing himself,I can't seem to reach him

Annie: (eren has the founding,of course he must have felt overwhelmed at some point)

Armin: if he is insane...,as his friend I should be able to snap him to reality

Annie: (hmm)

Armin: a-annie I'm sorry

Annie: why (are you apologizing? I'm the enemy)

Armin: I didn't think this...would happen

Annie: (none of us did)

Armin: reiner...got away with Zeke and that duck titan

Annie: (pieck the platypus)

Annie: (he hasn't said bertholdts name yet)

Armin: a-annie

Annie: (he keeps saying my name, you almost sound like...)

Armin: I guess I hoped one day we would be friends,all of us..I thought we all would be comrades..

Annie: (what happened to bertholdt?)

Armin: annie I-i just the good times to last....always and forever

Annie: (is this a coincidence?....why did you say that?why do you keep saying my name?)

Armin:a-annie

Armin: i-i didn't want this, I had no choice

Annie: (none of us did)

Armin: I-I tried to talk to him, negotiate

Annie: (bertholdt? I told him not to)

Armin: he only said they wanted eren and the demise of humanity in the walls, he was...unfased

Annie: (finally)

Armin: although for a second he flinched when I mentioned you..for the second time

Annie: (dammit bertholdt)

Armin: but he said we can feed you to the pigs if you were actually in our custody, guess he chose not to believe it

Annie: (right choice)

Armin: he held of mikasa surprise attack

Annie: (huh..hidden potential,I knew it)

Annie: (but why are you reminding me of him?)

Armin: after all that I,...

Annie: (...)

Armin: I am the colossal titan

Annie:

Annie: ( I thought I told him not to die...what the hell was reiner doing?)

Armin: a-annie, I saw his titan... crying

Annie: (why were you crying? Were you feeling guilty? I told you not to die but you did anyway, that was selfish..you couldn't have waited until I answered you to die?)

Armin: i-I'm sorry annie I know he cared for you

Annie: (he's dead now, his caring doesn't matter much now)

Armin: but annie I think he wants something..., everytime I look or think of you, u seem more important

Annie: (stop talking like him)

Armin: I-i'm sorry, im really sorry

Annie: (even after death you still apologize to much)


	3. Reiner/what do you remember?

Annie finds a sleeping and depressed reiner unable to take his own life but wishing for it to end

Reiner: annie? Your back?

Annie: reiner

Reiner:how long?

Annie: long enough

Reiner: i'm sorry

Annie: stop,I've had enough sorry's

Reiner: I have to tell you

Annie: no you don't I already know, armin did come back after all

Reiner:armin?

Annie: ?you didn't know? How didn't you? Where were you exactly?

Reiner: thunder spears made for my titan,it's all hazy but I did hear bertholdt

Annie: what did he say?

Reiner: it doesn't matter,nothing for you

Annie: it matters now that he's dead

Reiner: does it?

Annie: just tell me I need to know why he lied to me

Reiner: huh? Lie to you?

Annie: yes,now tell me

Reiner: it wasn't anything really he just told me to move and that if I couldn't he was sorry,I had to prepare for the worst,he was gonna end it

Annie: hmm

Reiner: he sounded focused

Annie: is that so

Reiner: that is so

Reiner: what did he lie to you about?

Annie: he said I wasn't alone, that I had the both of you

Reiner: that doesn't sound like a lie?

Annie: it was, you developed another person, and he died leaving me in a rock, cold,dark and alone

Reiner: but we didn't know,and apparently you made that rock yourself

Annie: stop talking

Reiner: you know it's kinda ironic

Annie: ?

Reiner: it's actually the second time he saved me.

Reiner: before the battle I called him unreliable

Annie :that's funny 2nd time saving you right?

Reiner: ha actually yea it is kinda funny

Annie :your not suppose to laugh it's sad for you

Reiner: I know,I know, just trying to cope

Reiner: and he was always there with and for me you know 

Annie: I know

Reiner: dammit, it...should have been me!

Annie: your right but don't do that reiner,you look even more pitiful, besides would he let you break down?

Reiner: he would, but he would always reach out his hand and help me up

Annie: 

Annie then reaches out her hand to help reiner up

Annie: here

Reiner: annie?

Annie: don't make me repeat myself, get up reiner

Reiner: thanks

Annie: don't get use to it,I'm still thinking if killing you

Reiner: huh? Haha annie your jokes need some work

Annie: o, right, joke

Reiner: you know he wanted to find you but I stopped him the mission comes first

Annie: agreed

Reiner: even though it was obvious he didn't want to go annie were or do annie thing else until...

Annie suddenly kicks reiner in the face knocking him back down

Reiner: what the hell,annie, you just helped me up

Annie: ...you can die now reiner

Reiner: happy to, really

Reiner: wait, I just had a thought

Annie: huh? That's actually a common thing you know

Reiner: I'm serious

Annie: so am I

Reiner: can bertholdt interact through armin?

Annie: who knows

Reiner: let's try I want to apologize

Annie: and you think he will hear you

Reiner: I hope

Annie: hmm

Annie: I think he died alone

Reiner: what?

Annie: you Zeke,and pieck, escaped

Reiner: but the scouts..

Annie: reiner! We're not scouts, don't change now, he's not here, no one will bring you back

Reiner: sorry,I slipped for a moment

Reiner: we went out to the battle together but he...died alone i'm sorry bertholdt

Annie: don't apologize, apologies are for naive fools (I must be of the most foolish, forgive me bertholdt)


	4. Scene's from our past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bertholdt: (trust)

Flash back  
.  
.  
Bertholdt: stand up reiner

Reiner: I'm worthless, porco's right I won't get chosen

Bertholdt: porco doesn't decide, and besides, I think loyalty is a good thing, come on 

Reiner: thanks bertholdt

Bertholdt: but why do you wanna be a warrior anyway? You only get 13years

Reiner: that's enough time to become a hero, I want my mom, my dad, all 3 of us to be a happy family

Bertholdt: thats great, I think family..is the greatest motivation

Reiner: well? What about you bertholdt,why are you here? Do you want to be a hero?

Bertholdt: ...not really, I mean being a hero sounds nice but I just want to help my dad..

Reiner: o that's good,and your mom?

Bertholdt: gone I guess,I never knew her

Reiner: your dad never had stories?

Bertholdt: I'm sure,but I never asked, everytime he saw a picture of her or mentioned her, his eyes looked sad..I didn't want to look at them, to remember someone I didn't even know, to be sad and I don't even know why seems....

Reiner: so you didn't even know about her?

Bertholdt: no I knew, I just..I would always change the subject because I didn't like to see him so sad

Reiner: wasn't he the one who you sent you here?

Bertholdt: yes, but at first he didn't want to but he was sick so I told him I wanted to, and I wanted to,I still want to, I have to

Reiner: huh? Why wouldn't he want to sign you up?

Bertholdt: ....reiner....

Reiner: o well cheer up, We'll be hero's together

Bertholdt: r-right

Reiner: hey you got any siblings?

Bertholdt: not that I know of no

Reiner::me either...I know 

Bertholdt::?

Reiner: you and me, are brothers in arms now

Bertholdt: what?

Reiner: turn around

Bertholdt: huh?

Reiner: you question alot. Come on turn around

Bertholdt: okay

Reiner: now I turn around,I swing my arm to your shoulder and you do the same

Bertholdt: reiner I don't get it

Reiner: shoulder to shoulder wherever we are we never surrender

Bertholdt: what exactly is this

Reiner: this is our trust

Bertholdt: hmm(trust)

Reiner: hey look it's annie

Bertholdt: annie

Reiner: hey annie!

Annie: o look the loyal ass kisser

Reiner: hey I'm reiner you know me

Annie: I wish I didn't

Reiner: and bertholdt happens to think loyalty is a good thing

Bertholdt: hi annie

Annie: of course you would encourage him

Bertholdt: don't you think it's important?

Annie: sure if you plan on being a servant

Reiner: hey I am not

Annie: oops I meant a slave

Reiner: hey!

Bertholdt: annie keep your voice down

Annie: I know im 13 but I'm not an idiot, reiner is just.."whispers" a tool

Annie: I'll stop talking now, I'm going to train

Bertholdt: (tool)

Reiner: she's evil..but she's one of us..right bert?

Bertholdt: right...bert?

Reiner: what was your mom parents thinking? bert is way easier

Bertholdt: it's not that hard

Reiner: whatever you say bertheherolroad

Bertholdt: here I'll write it for you

Reiner: no need bert I'll just never write anything with your name in it

Bertholdt: speaking of writing, I want to write my father one last time before we leave tomorrow

Reiner: o yeah, don't worry bert we'll both come back and your dad will be on his feet hugging you in no time

Bertholdt: I would like that (wait dad I'll come back and you'll be better)


	5. Our trust

Reiner: some times when I'm walking I keep looking back like bertholdts there following, going unoticed

Annie: yea

Reiner: now its the most noticable thing that he's not there

Annie: yea

Reiner: annie?

Annie: what?

Reiner: You miss him?... right?

Annie: what's the point? Why ask, why make me think about it?

Reiner: jeez annie I thought feelings was the kind of the point

Annie: I would be lying if I said I didn't but it serves me nothing being sad, guilt tripping myself

Reiner:

Annie: your getting good at it, I think It could be your second nature after being a bafoon

Reiner: I forgot how cold you are

Annie: it's fine your a titan heat yourself up

Reiner: I don't know what bertholdt ever saw in you

Annie: funny I don't either,I'm nothing special 

Reiner: and yet

Annie: and yet....bertholdt said I would have him by my side always and forever

Reiner: whoa, annie?

Annie:...

Reiner: you crying?

Annie:...

Reiner: I know we're like family but have I seen you cry?

Annie: Fuck you reiner!

Reiner: wait.wait,dammit bertholdt told me to protect you!

Annie: what?

Reiner: he told me to protect you, and it's kinda hard to do that when your fighting me

Annie: he told you, when?

Reiner: before his last battle

Annie: you left that part out

Reiner: yeah I'm sorry

Annie: (did he know he would die?)

Reiner: I'm sure he felt things wouldn't go perfect

Reiner: we made a pact,if I died he would take Christa and tell everyone back home I was a hero

Annie: that's stupid, and you think Christa really wants you?

Reiner: hopefully and we had Zeke and pieck I didn't think I would die

Reiner: but I didn't think bertholdt would either 

Reiner: anyway he said 

Flash back  
.  
.  
  
Bertholdt: sure I'll save Christa and you'll finally be a hero,and..if I don't make it I want you....to save and protect annie

Reiner: cool but you know we'll save her together

Bertholdt: reiner. Please I need it to be someone I trust

Reiner: of course bert 

Bertholdt: ha you haven't called me bert in a while I was beginning to wonder

Reiner: I know I been out of it but the reiner you met is still here

Bertholdt: im glad

Reiner: shoulder to shoulder

Bertholdt: never surrender

Reiner: this is our trust

Bertholdt: this is our trust

Present  
.  
.  


Annie: how did he manage to impact our lives so?

Reiner: I'm sure we impacted his first, he wasn't really one to make the first move

Annie: true

Annie: I guess I hate you less now 

Reiner: wait a minute hate? We met at 13

Annie: yes I always wanted to kill you

Reiner: at 13?

Reiner: bert always said it was just playful banter

Annie: playful banter for 3years? I think you are stupid

Reiner: hurtful

Annie: honest

Reiner:(dammit bert why annie of all people)

Reiner: honesty just like loyalty is a good thing right bert?


	6. Hoover blood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bertholdt: those words,I think I'll remember them

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warrior flashback, just admiring bertholdts marksmanship a small bit

Flash back  
.  
.  
Reiner: whoa 

Annie: hmm,well done

Pieck: great job bertholdt 

Porco: well shit

Marcel: haha your a natural 

Zeke: wonderful

Bertholdt: u-umm thanks guys,pieck,annie

Reiner: how did you shoot so well? Only the first couple times?

Annie: (how else? Practice stupid)

Bertholdt: w-well

Zeke: no need to explain

Marcel: your a born natural that's all

Reiner: yea he is

Pieck: it's a great skill to have you know 

Porco: well we know who the sniper will be

Reiner: if we all train I bet we all can be snipers and wipe out those devil's

Porco: you a sniper? You'd be lucky to shoot a can and hit some that way. your so bad, ok shoot yourself in the foot I would love to see that

Annie: actually I would too 

Reiner: what? I dare you to say that again

Porco: my pleasure

Pieck: don't be so rude pock "pinch"

Porco: what the...dammit pieck that's not my name

Pieck: you sure? You did respond

Porco: 

Bertholdt: it's fine reiner I'm sure you'd make a good sniper,we can practice if you want

Reiner: thanks bert I'd be honored

Annie: your to nice bertholdt

Bertholdt: well annie I think you could be more nice...your kind of a....

Annie: carefully think about your next words

Bertholdt: 

Reiner: hahaha

Annie stares daggers at reiner,oblivious to the situation he continues to laugh, after a moment of silence he just jives her a thumbs up

Reiner:

Annie: 

Annie delivers a swift kick to reiner jaw and quickly make the ground his bed

Bertholdt: reiner!

Reiner: ....mom?.....o hey bert

Bertholdt: you ok?

Reiner: never better 

Bertholdt: you look pretty bruised up

Reiner: o this it's nothing just dirt (dammit it hurts all over..but I must be a warrior)  
.  
.  
A small break from training finds bertholdt and annie in rare conversation 

Annie: bertholdt your shooting is pretty good

Bertholdt: ..thanks annie

Annie: that skill will come in handy

Bertholdt: maybe...but,I hope not 

Annie: hmm?

Bertholdt: I don't even like killing animals much,how could I kill people?

Annie: devil's you mean, they are animals just think of them as such

Bertholdt: annie"whisper" you don't really think....

Annie: we have to, plain and simple

Annie: I assume your parents or guardians taught you to shoot?

Bertholdt: hmm

Bertholdt: my dad just shot at cans

Bertholdt: he loved it,it was a calming place to get away from reality for him

Annie: to get away huh,I get it I train for that sometimes

Bertholdt: a quiet peace when he could be alone without anyone watching

Bertholdt: he use to be a sniper in past wars,pretty good and modest if he told me right,he didn't like to boast

Annie: like father like son

Bertholdt: he didn't like moving targets much when he was teaching me, to many bad memories he said, but yet he still did it cause he thought it would help me

Bertholdt: he told me he was proud of me..but how could he be when I haven't done anything yet?

Annie: who knows, maybe he knew you'd make it, or maybe he wanted to be proud regardless if you failed

Annie: or simply to boost your confidence

Annie: that last one makes sense for someone like you

Bertholdt: I'd like to think regardless if I failed or not he loved me

Bertholdt: he told me one day the world might hate me, warriors might envy me,friends might leave me, but your father loves you,right or wrong your father loves you

Bertholdt: keep the ones you love close he said

Bertholdt: i don't know what he meant,maybe a past experience? He looked like he was remembering something

Bertholdt: then he said "always and forever"

Bertholdt: those words,I think I'll remember them

Annie: hmm I've never heard you talk like this

Bertholdt: o-o sorry I don't know,kinda felt like I was dreaming

Annie: dreams are hallucinations

Bertholdt: hey annie we're friends right?

Annie: no

Bertholdt: ....

Annie: I don't play with you like reiner does,we warriors are more like classmates,people to talk with to get through the day

Bertholdt: so no friends?

Annie: no friends, we hardly talk to each other

Bertholdt: we're talking now..how about we just be friends in this moment

Annie: ?

Bertholdt: we can be friends whenever we do talk to each other,and any other time I won't bother you

Annie: hmm are you negotiating with me?

bertholdt: umm..yea I guess i am

Annie: fine, but if reiner gets to close I'll kill him

Bertholdt: deal

Bertholdt: hey do you hate reiner?

Annie: do you like reiner?

Bertholdt: he's nice

Annie: you can't be friends with everyone who's nice to you

Bertholdt: I think you should try,you never know who will impact your life

Annie: your to optimistic

Bertholdt: (is that so bad?)

Annie: it's bad

Bertholdt: annie did you just...

Annie: what? Why are you looking like that

Bertholdt: (she didn't read my mind just now?)

Annie: bertholdt do you want to die an early death? earlier than 13years I mean

Bertholdt: what? of course not

Annie: then stop being so nice,you say yes to everything

Annie: the world doesn't care how nice you are,it will still kill you the same as someone so mean, you can't negotiate with life

Annie: I'm leaving now

Bertholdt: (huh? Stop?)

Pieck: hey annie did you just kill that grass hopper?

Annie: I did

Pieck: why?

Porco: She's...

Annie glares at porco and instantly instills intimidation 

Porco: nevermind

Pieck: hey annie we should hang out

Annie:why?

Pieck: why not? it will be fun

Annie: hmm fun...u want to train?

Pieck: umm fun?

Annie: come we will train

Pieck: but

Annie: I think you might be a grass hopper

Pieck: (uh oh) let's train shall we?

Annie: good


	7. Children of destruction

Flash back  
.  
.  
.  
Bertholdt: (they looked...small...scared...devil's...but devil's aren't... suppose to be scared....are...we...the devil's?)

Reiner: we made it

Annie: without marcel

Reiner: ....

Bertholdt: ...

Annie: we just arrived and already we're about to fail

Reiner: don't say that annie,we still have time

Reiner: we still have hope right bertholdt?

Bertholdt: ....

Reiner: (what's up with him?)

Annie: (he's been like that for a while)

Bertholdt: I...I guess

Reiner: well you guessed right

Reiner: annie, bertholdt,I'm sorry,from now on I'll be a great warrior,just watch me marcel

Annie: Let's hurry and get this over

Bertholdt: ...

Annie: stop crying bertholdt, u have to look past it, devil's remember

Reiner: annie's right their just devil's pretending to be human

Bertholdt: I...I'm not crying

Annie: no not physically but I know you cry

Reiner: cheer up guys, now we need to blend in

Annie: we're kids, not exactly out of the ordinary

Reiner: I mean to get close to the king

Bertholdt: we're...kids.. we're.. monsters

Reiner: dammit bertholdt we're not we will be hero's,I thought you wanted..

Bertholdt: you forgot reiner.i..never wanted...not like you, I just..my dad

Reiner: it's to late for that now, whether you wanted it or not....don't go soft on me or..

Bertholdt: 

Annie: reiner?was that a threat?

Reiner: no,no,never,I'm just..we come this far, I mean..you shouldn't have joined if you're not willing

Annie: enough,stop it reiner, bertholdt is the last person you should criticize, what's the point we're already here

Bertholdt: (annie?)

Reiner: exactly we know what we need to do

Reiner: ..

Reiner: jobs

Annie:

Bertholdt: ...

Reiner: farmers

Annie: 

Bertholdt:...

Reiner: what? Farmers are.. necessary

Bertholdt: ..well..he's not wrong

Annie: .. .fine

Reiner: good let's go

Bertholdt: (I know it was a small thing but thanks annie)


	8. Here,take half

Erwin: those of you who wish to leave may do so

Flash back

.

.

Bertholdt: annie?the mp?

Reiner: yea

Annie:yea

Bertholdt: ..

Reiner: all three of us in one place won't cover much ground

Bertholdt: so annie mp, and us two, garrison and scouts?

Reiner: not exactly, minus garrison

Annie: think bertholdt,you saw it too, eren is a titan, either the founding,or attack

Reiner: he's in the scouts too

Annie: if he's not the founding the mp are closet to the king

Reiner: and we'll follow eren

Bertholdt: (reiner your my best friend but being sperated from annie)

Annie: bertholdt, stop thinking..this is the more logical plan

Bertholdt: ..y-yea

Bertholdt: but a-

Annie: no, you will go with reiner if he changes you will be there...plus I hate him

Reiner: hey I'm right here

Annie: o sorry 

Annie looks at reiner only for there to be a pause,reiner gives her a thumbs up

Annie: I hate you

Reiner: haha your jokes are so bad their good

Annie: funny

Annie: bertholdt

Bertholdt: y-yes annie?

Annie: focus

Bertholdt: ...right

Reiner: we'll send letters, if it's important

Annie: ok

.

.

.  
Present

Erwin: this is a heartfelt salute to those of you who stay

Annie walks without looking back,she doesn't need bertholdt but it feels different when you know you won't have that constant eye that was always there on you the same one you've gotten use to since childhood

Annie: (it feels weird in this moment leaving bertholdt..but he has to focus)

Bertholdt can't help but glance back at annie as she walks away. he doesn't want to attract any attention but he's so weak when it comes to annie

Bertholdt: (it feels weird in this moment annie leaving...be careful)

Reiner: no looking back now bertholdt

Reiner: hero's look ahead I'm sure she will be fine, she will be safer then us in fact

Erwin: give your hearts!

Bertholdt: (I can't give my whole heart,I think...half of it just left)


	9. This,..what is...this?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Farm work is still hard work right?

Flash back

.

.

Reiner: feels like we been working out in the fields forever, I'm frying

Annie: reiner

Reiner: ?

Annie: shut up

Reiner: what's up your ass?

Bertholdt: reiner,don't,it's to hot

Reiner: ok how are we gonna get the king?

Annie: . bertholdt any ideas?

Bertholdt: n-no (annie...looks...different)

Bertholdt: but, what if we can't get the king to respond?

Reiner: we have to do whatever it takes, can't is impossible, we fail if we can't go home

Annie: I have one way maybe, I can..offer to serve a noble close to the king or the king himself

Reiner: serve?

Bertholdt: a...a-annie(no..that's not it, she doesn't look different...I feel... different.. around her)

Reiner: thought you didn't like being a slave

Annie: you said yourself we have to do whatever it takes,this is whatever it takes

Bertholdt: a...y-you can't do that!(I don't want anything to happen to her)

Annie: huh? Your right I don't have the charm..

Bertholdt: th...that's not true(you charmed me without even knowing)

Annie: (I'm noticing something,he's stuttering more)

Reiner: better idea, we join the military

Bertholdt: military?

Annie: hmm

Reiner: think about it we'd be perfect,we already have the skills

Annie: makes sense

Bertholdt looks at annie and suddenly feels hotter by the second, his mind isn't thinking really he can't explain himself. 

Bertholdt: y-yea (whew thanks reiner this is way better than annie's idea)

Reiner: it's decided then tomorrow we join,let's go get some food,I'm starving

Annie: bertholdt, wait

Bertholdt:

Bertholdt: y-yes?

Annie: I know your a timid person but you never had a speech impediment before, something happen?

Bertholdt: ugh..no..i-im fine I'm...having..a heatstroke

Annie: o?

Bertholdt starts to walk faster to avoid dieing of embarrassment

Bertholdt: s-sorry annie let's get some food (what's happening? It's like I can hardly talk to annie anymore)

Annie: hmm(he's acting strange)


	10. There's sand here/always quiet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bertholdt: its my biggest regret

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think from here it's back and forth from flashbacks to present, sorry I'll try to label better

Bertholdt suddenly wakes after what seemed to be a dream, or was it a nightmare, he thinks,then remembers the last think he saw was a pure titan lifting him to devour his head.... it was reality

Bertholdt: (sand?am I in...a desert?)

Bertholdt: (I don't know where this is,I don't know what time is here)

Ymir: hey bertholdt, what's up

Bertholdt: ymir.?

Ymir: yo you finally dead? Sooner or later right?

Bertholdt: ymir what is this place?

Ymir: I'm guessing the thing that connects us, 

Ymir: or purgatory, the in between, ya know

Bertholdt: sorry I don't

Ymir: you'll learn, silence teaches a lot apparently,.this damn silence

Bertholdt: ymir..

Ymir: did Christa...historia get my letter?

Bertholdt: sorry..I don't know..

Ymir: jeez what the hell? You guys left not long after I wrote it,the hell happened?

Bertholdt: reiner had it, I don't see him here so maybe he got to her

Ymir: shit, he's to dirty for her,of all people I had to give it to

Bertholdt: ...did you suffer? Ymir?

Ymir: O you asking? Didnt you enjoy the show?

Bertholdt: i couldn't, I.. looked away

Ymir: hmm thx I guess, well did i suffer?not really it was more like a big ass pinch on the neck,then It all went dark

Bertholdt: hmm pinch huh

Ymir: what about you, how you end up here

Bertholdt: armin

Ymir: hahaha armin? Damn.didnt know he could kill,let alone fight

Bertholdt: he was a pure titan

Ymir: o shit, he got your power?

Bertholdt: he did

Ymir: haha big bad colossal armin,I would've paid to see that

Ymir: you are a traitor after all

Bertholdt: I....am

Bertholdt: but armin tried to talk..to negotiate,I can't fault him for eating me

Ymir: make sense, between you and reiner your more negotiable

Bertoldt: reiner isn't stupid he knows how to talk

Ymir: sure but I don't like him much

Bertholdt: you almost sound like annie and she hates him

Ymir: not hate per say, he's just an unlikable person

Bertholdt: wasn't he like a big brother to everyone?

Ymir: jeez you bought that to?, nope not me,I knew something was up with him..could smell him from a mile away, he needs to shower more

Bertholdt: haha, it's... good to see you ymir, I'm still sorry about how all this that happened

Ymir: hey don't tell me your still like that,I told you, you guys saved me soo..

Ymir: anyway you mentioned annie, you told her before you died right?

Bertholdt: , I did, I mean I told her I would be with her always and forever

Ymir: what a sap

Bertholdt: .. knowing her she must think I lied now that I'm dead

Bertholdt: and to her, that..just proves more that she is against the world

Bertholdt: I didn't want that, it's my biggest regret

Ymir: dammit bertholdt your dead stop feeling sorry..stop feeling anything

Bertholdt: ...ymir

Ymir: she's a big girl she'll figure it out you don't need to worry all the damn time

Bertoldt: but...I told her..

Ymir: so what, everyone dies eventually..just a lot faster around here..she must've known that much..nothing is forever

Bertholdt: ..ymir did you get...wiser?

Ymir: huh? I'm fucking over60 years old....plus..this place helps you think....quiet

Bertholdt: hmm

Ymir: always quiet


	11. To see through another's eyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd hang out with ymir, she seems fun

Ymir: hey why don't you try?

Bertholdt: I don't know

Ymir: yes you do,you just don't wanna  
know now if she happens to hate you now

Bertholdt: I ..can't

Ymir: maybe, but you haven't tried so you don't know

Bertholdt: I don't know,even if I did look at her and she looked back would she see me?

Ymir: Only you can find out, and as far as I know you have to try to find out 

Bertholdt: have you?

Ymir: duh, I got all the time in the world,now so do you

Ymir: this porky guy is a real ass,he's not exactly close to historia so it's pretty useless on that part, but talking shit to renier is glorious,one of the highlights if being dead hahaha

Bertholdt: ymir. Reiner is still my best friend..and it's porco with a c

Ymir: still?why are you both not dead?

Bertholdt: I don't know 

Ymir: well,he can't be dead he's not here,so either he got eren, or ran, but you, he left you

Bertholdt: i'm sure he would've helped me... if he could've...

Ymir: jeez bertholdt you still need to lighten up,your dead whats more sad than that

Bertholdt: ... former friends that I betrayed..

Ymir: see?I think you have a problem

Bertholdt: at least they saw me die,I deserved it

Ymir: ok buddy

Bertholdt: so do you see through porco's eyes often?

Ymir: sure do, talk about attitude problem 

Ymir: how dare he calls me pitiful, sure I looked like shit but I was in my last days,who wouldn't?

Bertholdt: sorry,he's just like that, he's actually not that bad

Ymir: yea well Fuck him I hope he dies

Bertholdt: and end up here,then you guys can fight.. forever

Ymir: beats the silence of this place I welcome it,I'd teach him some manners

Bertholdt: ymir how are you still the same?..I mean..not crazy in this place?

Ymir: I told you,I had time to think

Bertholdt: so?

Ymir: so I accepted how things turned out

Bertholdt: is that enough?

Ymir: so far, besides marcel is pretty good company to

Bertholdt: m-marcel?

Bertholdt: ..

Marcel: hey bert,long time..

Bertholdt looks at the walking figure behind ymir', he can't help his eyes from tearing up, he doesn't know whether to be happy or sad, but he doesn't have to choose because the sadness comes first


	12. Sound together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bertholdt: She's like..a slave..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought the shifters were somewhere in the paths like Zeke but I guess not

Ymir: yo marcel

Ymir: how the hell are ya?

Marcel: bored,same as you ymir, same as always

Ymir: well we got our old pal bert here

Bertholdt: marcel..it's been a long time

Marcel: yep, you staying out of trouble?

Ymir: haha yeah he is,no more trouble for this guy,he's dead

Bertholdt: it's good to see you

Marcel: your..tall

Ymir: yea he is,fucking human size titan

Bertholdt: so you've been here... with ymir

Marcel: mhm, we're pals now

Ymir: easy not to close buddy I'm still gay,I'll never betray Christa.

Marcel: aren't you dead ymir?

Ymir: I am but all I gotta do is get porky to sprinkle Christa with titan juice,she eats him, she dies, she's here, problem solved

Marcel: hey porco will die too, what the hell?

Ymir: tough shit

Marcel: well I don't appreciate you talking about my brother like that

Ymir: who porky? ooo

Ymir: whatcha gonna do? Kill me?

Marcel: I mean you can still feel pain

Ymir: "oink oink"

Marcel not knowing if they could really feel pain or not headbutts ymir

Ymir: shit, I really can feel that, Fuck why can I feel pain?

Bertholdt: why can we even communicate here?

Marcel: hmm.got it, ymir go ask YMIR

Ymir: o, like I can

Ymir: that kid doesn't do nothing but play in the sand all damn day

Bertholdt: that little kid over there is...lady YMIR?

Ymir: yea but she doesn't do shit else but play sand titans

Ymir: you can call her name but she just ignores you like you ain't shit

Marcel: your not shit

Ymir: Fuck you

Marcel: no manners at all

Ymir: watch..HEY YMIR!!!

Ymir: shit was that the first time saying my own name?

Bertholdt: ...she's not stopping..

Marcel: ...I guess we all ain't shit

Ymir: see that? She's a machine

Bertholdt: she's like...a slave...

Marcel:why are you ymir then

Ymir: excuse you?

Marcel: your name,your nothing special

Ymir: you got memory problems?

Ymir: the church cult stupid,I thought I told you when I first got here

Marcel: soo?

Ymir: soo?

Marcel: what's your real name? 

Bertholdt: 

Marcel: 

Ymir: huh?, what the hell? Stop staring Shit I don't know 

Marcel: no name huh,that's rough

Ymir: your mom's rough

Marcel: your an ass

Ymir: and your....not to bad

Marcel: your like porco

Ymir: what the hell? Porky? Well Fuck that

Marcel: I can see you being friends

Ymir: ...sure..when heaven and hell turn to shit

Bertholdt just looks and smiles warmly

Ymir: what the hell you looking at small  
giant?

Bertholdt: all things considered this...isn't terrible

Ymir:hmm?

Marcel: hmm?

Bertholdt: of all people the both of you, we understand each other..I know I don't deserve feeling this but...I'm glad.im not alone

Ymir: yea

Marcel:yea

Bertholdt: thanks guys for making it..less quiet


	13. Don't get to close,I'll die

Bertholdt finds himself training with annie. the most rarest occasions

Bertholdt: (we're training but she's so serious about it,..is she disappointed with me?)

Annie: I'm disappointed with you

Bertholdt: ...(right)

Annie: bertholdt your strong I see it, so why are you so weak? I see that to

Bertholdt: a-annie, I'm sorry

Annie: why are you sorry? you need to stop apologizing like you offend people

Annie: you should be offended

Annie: become furious with me, feel rage towards me, hurt me..if you don't you die

Bertholdt: I...can't

Annie: you can,you have,with reiner, although not much change there is a difference

Bertholdt: n...n-not

Annie: hmm? Don't stutter,say your words

Bertholdt: ..not with you

Annie: ?

Bertholdt: hurt you..I, just...can't..

Annie: why?

Bertholdt: ..

Annie: do you think less of me? Not worth your effort huh,You rather train with reiner than me? Even as a warrior do you not think I belong?

Bertholdt: annie stop it, none of that is true...

Annie: hmm,it's fine..I was just trying to help

Annie: fellow warrior bertholdt hoover

Bertholdt: a

Annie: I'm leaving, it's almost time to eat

Annie: bertholdt,be more assertive, don't forget why your here

Bertholdt: (none of that is true.. .it's hot....this thing inside me....burns)


	14. It's not like that/but it always was

Flash back  
.  
.

Reiner: bertholdt what's your deal?you stare to much

Bertholdt: huh? What?I don't?...

Reiner: yes you do, you wanna tell me a reason why? 

Bertholdt: ugh, I..it's not like that

Reiner: bullshit you've been blushing this whole time

Bertholdt: ..reiner..I, can't

Reiner: you can't?

Bertholdt: I can't stop.. looking at her

Reiner: stalker syndrome

Bertholdt: stalker... syndrome?

Reiner: yea and it looks bad,you can't focus,and that's bad for the mission

Bertholdt: yea..I know

Reiner: alright I'll help

Bertholdt: w.wait, I didn't ask

Reiner: doesn't matter,your my best friend, I know I'm not well sometimes and you just being here really helps so by helping you I'll help me myself

Bertholdt: ...reiner.

Reiner: what are friends for? Nothing?

Bertholdt: thanks

Reiner: you can thank me when annie is screaming your name later

Bertholdt: ! (I mean...if it did come to that point I wouldn't even be thinking of you)

Reiner: haha your face is priceless

Bertholdt: I have...this feeling..it burns when..I'm near her..even looking at her..hurts

Reiner: ..jeez bert is it that bad? how long you been crushing?

Bertholdt: since we got here..maybe a little bit before,I'm not exactly sure

Reiner: too long,all that time and you haven't made a move..

Bertholdt: I think..it's ...fine

Reiener: ?

Bertholdt: she doesn't have to like me back, ...but I do want her..to belong

Reiner: is that really what you want?13years bertholdt that's all then we die

Bertholdt: like I said..it's fine

Reiner: you won't

Bertholdt: ?

Reiner: you won't be fine, if something happens and you never confess...

Bertholdt: I... already,did

Reiner: what?when?

Bertholdt: last night

Reiner: why the hell didn't you start with that, well what did she say?

Bertholdt: she would give me an answer after the mission

Reiner: making you wait huh, playing hard to get huh annie

Bertholdt: she said it would..hold me back..I would lose focus

Reiner: your all about losing focus answer or not

Bertholdt: I know 

Reiner: she probably wanted to think about it

Bertholdt: hmm

Reiner: stick with me buddy, annie will love you after this is done

Bertholdt: I told you

Reiner: and I told you I'm helping you

Reiner: "annie voice impression" bert I finally realized, I've loved you all along, your tall, im short, come,take my hand, let's start a family

Bertholdt: ..reiner that was horrible

Reiner: I thought it was exactly her but seriously if you wait you just might regret it

Annie walks unnoticed into bertholdts and reieners conversation, bertholdt spotted her but was unable to even form an understandable sentence to warn reiner as reiner isn't even aware of her approach

Annie: what is this?

Reiner: SHIT annie, don't scare me like that

Annie: pay more attention,I was just walking here

Bertholdt: a-a

Annie: bertholdt, don't try to talk,

Bertholdt: 

Annie: any updates before the ceremony?

Reiner: hey are there...annie updates bertholdt?

Annie: maybe I should just kill you now

Reiner: no, no updates, "whisper" say something bertholdt

Bertholdt: 

Reiner: bertholdt?

Bertholdt: 

Annie: hmm another.heatstroke

Reiner: hmm maybe but it's not even that hot out

Annie: let's go

Bertholdt: (how does she feel? It was wrong of me to have said anything,I can't force her to have feelings for me, I just want her to be well...., I hope our friendship isn't...broken)


End file.
